Life’s Little Miracles… For Nataani

Life’s Little Miracles

For Nataani

 

Conception. It is mystical, divine.

For what compares to the miracle that is life? 

I’m ever in awe when I think, of

Tiny cells fusing 

Evolving 

Materialising 

Into a soul, living  

Protected by her haven; my womb.  

 

She kicks my ribs, pirouettes when I eat. 

My cysts throb with her growth, her daily feats. 

I revere her, this lil’ wonder. 

She’s a gem, our gift 

Becoming 

Flourishing 

Into her own spirit,

Comforted by her lighthouse; my voice.  

 

Doctors warn the chance is fifty/fifty

So I summon courage from my mothers before me. 

And though cautious I stand unfazed

Ready to conquer

Gestational diabetes,

Low amniotic fluid, 

Preeclampsia

Cervical cerclage, miscarriage. 

 

It takes nine months, ten moons my aunt says.

I face nausea, discomfort, an array of pains. 

My body is a foreign space, 

Senses intense, derailed.

I’m greedy

I’m moody

I languish in time’s jail

Yearning wildly for my girl, my world. 

 

I trudge past her due date; nothing’s amiss.

I’d walked and walked! Is it a labour rousing trick, or myth?

I’m post-term and hospitalised.

There, one can’t be shy

I’m prodded

Exhausted

The week tarries by.

Still, grace abounds, I get to pick the day she comes!  

 

Induction begins at the crack of dawn 

Contractions intensify as the clock ticks on.  

Amniotic sac is ruptured

I’m convinced I’ll die

Mwen wè Jézi

Mwen bazoudi

Fourteen hours drag by.

At exactly two minutes past nine, her precious life enriches mine. 

 

Over nine pounds, dry skin, she’s in distress.

Neonatal unit is our new address.

I can’t nurse her; my milk won’t come.

On top of that she battles storms

Hematoma

Broken clavicle

Brachial plexus injury.

For years to come, our gem will need therapy.

 

My heart’s too small to contain what I feel; 

These emotions astound me. She is seraphic 

Transcending my understanding

Of love, of life.

So profound,*

Empyreal

I’m immersed in her light.

And all eternity will never be enough to fathom the true depth of my love. 

 

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